The Snowman

 It's the month of Christmas!  ...wait, no.  December, that's it.  

Anyway, its winter, which means Christmas specials!  And I would be remiss not to review one, which is by far my favorite Christmas themed children animation film ever.  The Snowman, from 1982.

The snowman is based off a book written by Raymond Briggs, the book is just a picture book, no words, everything is told through images.  The film also has no dialogue, only music and a soundtrack, not even any sound effects, I think, anyway.  not entirely sure...

anyway, the film follows a boys adventures building a snowman after a snowfall in his country home.  He adds a hat and tie, and an orange for a nose.  In the middle of the night he awakens to the snowman coming to life.

Various kid antics ensue as he invites the snowman, (who is very polite and takes off his hat while inside) into the house.  This includes exchanging various fruit for noses, putting on different clothes, putting on makeup, and riding a motorcycle across the landscape.  ....One of these things is not like the others, but I loved the motorcycle scene and music that accompanied it.

After wards, the snowman takes him on a journey to the northpole.  He can fly apparently.  Don't ask questions.  Despite my jokes above, I LOVE this scene, and the music, and...well, I have video, which someone else took, I own nothing.

God damn brilliant music, animation, and the only part of the entire film that has any vocals.  Anyway, he takes him to the north pole, that...also has penguins on it.  so it's also the south pole.  ...I guess it's just magic.  A snowman party happens, with more kid antics and fantastic animation, until he meets santa, who gives him a gift, and before the sun rises, the snowman flys back to the kids home, where he sleeps, gets up in the morning eagerly to go outside to see that...

...the snowman has melted.  the snowman melted?!  What, no!  This is illegal!  I'm not crying, your crying.

As a kid, this punched me in the gut with emotions, but as an adult it's less sad, since i have been through Life, which is a painful and saddening experience.

The Snowman is amazing, a true masterpiece, and it's probably my favorite Christmas film, even better then Nightmare Before Christmas, and I love that film.  If you haven't seen it, go watch it.  It's a msut see, I think.  10/10 would get punched in the gut with emotion again.

Ratropolis

 Rats are cute.  You can't change my mind on this.  I have owned many rats as pets through the years.  well, five or six rats, anyway.  

But despite this, rats are almost always portrayed as the 'bad guy' or villains in movies.  So when I saw a game called Ratropolis, I had to try it out.  Despite the pun.

Welcome to rat land!  Not affiliated with Disney land.

The story is simple, there was once an ancient massive city that held ratkind, but an experiment that ran out of control turned some rats into Plague rats, so, basically the zombie apocalypse happened to ratkind.  You play as one of the leaders of rats trying to rebuild a city.    There isn't a lot more then that to the story, but there's mention of a World Tree, which always gets me excited in terms of lore, and other multiple choice events that hint at a wider world.

I'll go on about the gameplay more, but first the artstyle of the game itself.  It...it works, I'm not too fond of it but I don't really dislike it really, though the fact that some of the art assets use a 3D model on a mostly 2D game and art is cool.  I really have only one complaint about it, is that the rats look like mice.

I have been lied to!  God damn mice!

The actual gameplay is...odd.  It's definitely a city builder or survival game, but it's also a card game, and a rogue lite.  I describe it as a city defense game where you interact with the gameworld via cards from a deck, which I hope is accurate.  But as said before, there are also multiple choice text events that give advantages or disadvantages to your city as you play.  While unique, and I'm not a fan of cardgames, I do love it.

Anyway, there are three locations you can choose from to build your city, each with different enemies for all 30 waves, though they can be divided easily into plague rats, weasels, and reptile folk.  Each location also has a small but different set of multiple choice text events, making each location feel a little different, which I like. 

You can play as one of six leaders of ratkind, starting off with only one unlocked, the others unlocked through playing the game.  While there are cards that all leaders have access to, most of the cards you will get in the game are specific to a single leader.  While each leader has at least one unique gameplay mechanic in their decks, sometimes two or even more, the decks are more based a theme then a specific gameplay aspect.

The Merchants, Builder, and Army leaders are obvious to what theme they are.  Shaman and Science leader are also equally obvious, but the Navigator one is tricky, it's based around the sea, ships, pirates, and other naval things.  Personally, my favorite is the Science leader, because I like science.  science good.

It also allows me to build towering death traps next to residential buildings.  Rent low, possibility of death, high.

I picked up Ratropolis for only tenish dollars, but even if I paid the full fifteen bucks, I would say I've gotten more then fifteen dollars worth of entertainment out of it, with already more then 20 hours sunk into it.  So if you like cards games, or defense, or rats, get this, as I did not regret it.

Night of the Lepus.

I didn't ask for this.

No one asked for this.  I mean, who would've asked for a -giant killer rabbits- horror film?  

Yes, they decided this:

It's the god damn bunnys.

Would be a good horror movie monster.  I am still flabbergasted at this.  

Yes, a bunny themed horror movie could be a good horror-comedy movie, or even a satire or something, but nope, they played it -completely seriously-.  There is not a single joke or even a "You're kidding me, rabbits?" moment.  Everyone in the film is horrified and scared of this fluffy menace, not once finding this completely god damn ridiculous.  

Apparently this movie came about because of a script called Night of the Lepers was being reviewed by a director or producer, and he spilled wine on it, and to him, he thought it said Night of the Lepus.  While reading the script took away this illusion, he mentioned the idea of a Lepus themed horror movie to his daughter, and she loved the idea, and told him to make it.  

So he did.  Can you imagine what the original script writer of Night of the lepers felt like when or if he knew his script had been rejected for a -rabbit- horror script?  I imagine he's still bitter about that.  They had to hire a new script writer to edit the hell out of that original script.  I would like to have known his emotions and expressions while he worked on that script.

The films basic premise is that scientific testing on rabbits turns them into wolf sized killers.  Despite them saying they're as big as wolves, some times they're only man sized, sometimes car sized, and sometimes even bigger.  This is probably due to the fact that they use a rabbit suit sometimes, and the other times they simply put miniatures together and herd rabbits through the mini-sets.  One time you can even see, barely, someone herding the rabbits along.

The characters have little emotion in their voices, or anything to act on, really, and some of their actions are questionable, but there's only two worth mentioning.  I'll start with the least surprising first, also, mild to medium spoilers ahead, the little girl in the film, that is the scientists couples daughter, is a psychopath.  She releases a rabbit, one contaminated with the evil virus, into the wild, and lies about it, and hides the fact she does it, for no reason.  And no punishment happens to her either.

Second, that's Dr McCoy on the far left.  What the hell sort of contract did he sign that forced him to do this.

I'm a Doctor, not a rabbit wrangler!

 The effects are...almost non-existent, which I can't really blame them for, considering the time, but it involves many mini-sets with rabbits just casually laying about or strolling through them.  And one prevalent rabbit suit.

The rabbits also seem to vary in number from 'only a few dozen' to over a thousand in just a few hours.  I know rabbits are good at reproduction, but I don't think they have time to do It in just one night.  

The suspense is non-existent, the 'horrifying' rabbits are more adorable then anything else, and the actors seem to just want to get their paycheck and get out.  The resolution to the rabbit horde is equally dumb, which shouldn't have worked for at least three reasons, but, spoilers, if anyone cares about that in this movie.

But despite all this, I loved it, for all the wrong reasons.  It's silly, dumb, and extremely enjoyable with just how bad it is.  If you like bad moives, I suggest this one.

Kingdom Rush: Origins

 Yes, we're back to the Kingdom Rush series, if late by three days, but whatever.  I was busy on Sunday, going to a place I might talk about on this blog, although it's not a game, movie, or book.  But anyway, on to what this review is actually about, Kingdom Rush Origins

At least this picture isn't as busy as the others in the series...

Kingdom Rush Origins continues as a prequel to the first Kingdom Rush, and takes place on a far away continent, (different from the Frontiers far away lands of...Frontieria, idk), which is inhabited by elves, so as you can imagine, all the towers are elf themed.  The biggest thematically difference is instead of a dwarven mortar, you have an elf druid who weight lifts and throws exploding rocks at enemies.  It acts the exact as the mortar from previous games, just a facelift to fit in with the elf theme.

I should also mention I am reviewing the PC version of the Kingdom Rush games, the tablet and flash versions all have slight differences from each other, the main difference is the PC version has no micro transactions, but it is more expensive then the tablet version.  

Anyway gameplay is the same as the first two, with different enemies to face like the Gnolls pictured above(Hyena like humanoids for those not familiar).  Again, there are different modifying elements in roughly half of the stages so you have to change your strategy to adapt to them.  The only gameplay change in  Origins is heroes, acting like they did in Frontiers, now have a special ability that can be cast with a cooldown on the battlefield, making what hero you choose more important.  Some abilities kill a single enemy instantly, some summon reinforcements, and others hurl damaging projectiles onto the field, or a combination of all three.

Personally I found the gameplay of Origins to be more of the same, but that's exactly what I wanted out of it.  But the true reason I liked Origins more is because of the story.  Yes, there is one, more then just 'kill wizard' this time.  While I'll admit there isn't much more of one, it is there.  It starts with a gnoll invasion on the elven woods, and escalates to a full on attack by the Twilight Elves.  

I'm not going to say there are twists in the story, but their are turns here and there, which pleasantly surprised me, since a Tower Defense game is not one you think of with a story more complex then 'Destroy Badguy'.  I have yet to finish all of the extra bonus updates after you complete the story, but am excitedly looking forward to doing them.

That's all this week, and for the Kingdom Rush games.  Kingdom Rush: Vengeance releases for PC on October 15th. 

Kingdom Rush: Frontiers

Kingdom Rush Frontiers is the second game in the Kingdom Rush sereis, this time taking place in the far off land of...The Frontier?  They never actually say, so, yeah, just the Frontier.

I have to admit, really like the artwork...still no idea what's happening.

Because Kingdom Rush is a game that can be completed in under ten, or maybe even five hours, this will be a short review.  It did start off life as a flash game, after all.  Now look at it, on the Nintendo Switch and everything.  all grown up!  

Uh, anyway. its a tower defense game, as are all of them, and keeps the four main towers and gameplay from the previous game you know and love.  The only addition are heros, which actually appeared in this game first and then were added to the previous first game retroactively.  In this game, heros level up across the various stages or maps you bring them on, and gain experience slower, but you can upgrade them as they gain levels between each stage or map.  

The story is, again, "You hero, Wizard trying to summon ancient evil, you kill!" so it's nothing really to write home about.  But the graphics are nice to look at, easy to run on even the worst computer, and tells you what to know at a glance, eg, each tower has a distinctive look to it.

As you might expect from the top image, the locations you go to are desert and jungle flavored, and so are the various towers looks and 'elite' towers that basic towers can upgrade to once level 3. An example of one is the Necromancer tower, an level 4 elite tower for the mage tower.

He looks friendly, doesn't he?

The stages across the game almost all have at least one thing that is unique to them, meaning you need to adapt to each stage a little, instead of each stage being the same old.  My favorite is when you have to save a princess from being tossed into a volcano, while also fending waves of cannibalistic tribesmen.

I adored Kingdom Rush, and I think Frontiers is my favorite in terms of gameplay and the like.  But my favorite overall will have to go to the prequel of the series, which we will cover next week.  For now, so long.

Kingdom Rush

 Well, despite the entirety of the West Coast of the United States being on fire, I am still safe, and thus working on another review.  This week, and the next two, are following the Tower Defense game series Kingdom Rush, starting with the first one, merely labeled Kingdom Rush

I have no idea what's going on here...

Kingdom Rush started off as a flash game on the internet browser, a tower defense game among millions of them.  Then it launched a sequel, then they went to first tablets, then computer, and now after three games across three different types of platforms, a fourth is being released for PC, which is already out on tablets.

What made Kingdom rush different that it launched past the average and depressingly same old gameplay of tower defense?  Ironhide Game Studios, the people who made the series, did something that revolutionized the tower defense games  Well technically three somethings.  But we'll start with the biggest change first, which are these three dudes.

 

Say hello to George, Jerry, and Tim.

 Kingdom Rush has four basic towers, Archer, Mage, and an Area of Effect tower that can hit multiple enemies with bombs, the artillery tower.  But the fourth is by far the most important, as it does not shoot at enemies, but instead deploys three soldiers to block and fight ground enemies.  Of course flying enemies can't be blocked, and some enemies can't be blocked even if they are on the ground running, but this is a huge game changer.  Suddenly you can decide where to put a barracks, where to put shooty towers, and the shooty towers will kill the enemies that are stopped by George, Jerry, and Tim.  If any soldiers die, they just respawn 8-10 seconds later.  Must have great health care.

 

The second thing is that unlike most tower defense games I've played before Kingdom Rush was released was that you can't place towers anywhere.  You can only place them in certain spots, and of course it takes money to place them, varying with the type of tower.  This means you can't just clump ten towers at the spawn point of the enemies and kill them before they can even walk past the towers, you have to think how to best use these sites.

For the third, you have two abilities you can use and 'heros' you can deploy on the path.  The abilities in this game are Reinforce and Meteor, one of which summons two soldiers to block the path, and the other rains down a god damn flaming rock ontop of enemies.  The heros in this game start at level 1 in each map, and level up fighting enemies, and respawn automatically once dead.  There's over a dozen of them to choose from.

I have a feeling this is a injoke I'm not getting...

There isn't really a story, other then "you hero, Wizard evil, you kill!".  But the stages are fun, and some offer interesting obstacles to overcome or helpful devices to use to destroy enemies.  The gameplay concept of armor types, some enemies take reduced damage to Mage towers, others take reduced damage to the physical damage type all other towers use.

I thoroughly enjoy Kingdom Rush, both when it came out as a flash game, and later when I got it on Steam.  So I technically played it twice, if not more, and still loved the heck out of it.  if you like Tower Defense games, try this gem.  Even if you hate them beucase of reasons you got from trying them before, I'd say try this before giving your final verdict.  

That's all this week.  Next week I will review the next in the series, Kingdom Rush: Frontiers

Star Wars: The Mandolorian

I have a confession to make. 

I don’t like star wars. 

He WHAT?!

Well, I should say I don’t like the movies. Or anything resembling the movies. Or the creator. And especially not tattoine. So yeah, basically for my entire life I just said I don’t like star wars cause I thought I did. 

Then again, my experiences with star wars, at least anything in depth, was limited to the eight main movies(I never saw the ninth movie in the sequel trilogy), and two videos games, Star wars Jedi Academy(the only experience that left a mostly good taste in my mouth), and Stars Wars the Old Republic, the Massively Multiplayer Online game. 

For anyone who has not played Star Wars the Old republic, it’s set like, ten thousand years before the prequel trilogy. But for some reason the Empire is there with the exact some aesthetic as the middle trilogy, fighting the prequel Jedi republic, with the story writing of the frist two Mass Effect video game teams. And despite that talent, the stories managed to just recycle George Lucas’s ideas. 

And no, I’m still not over The Old Republic stealing writers from the Mass Effect triology, which I blame for why Mass Effect 3 was so terrible.

"He hates Mass Effect 3 too?!"

Look, lynch me later, I have an opinion to put out, and it’s not on The Old Republic or the Mass Effect Series. I’ve heard that KNIGHTS of the Old Republic, was actually extremely different and better then the Old Republic, but honestly star wars has left such a bad taste in my mouth I have yet to try that game. 

The point is, I thought, for decades, that, depending on my mood, Star Wars was either not for me or at worst a overblown nostalgic memory that’s only good qualitiy was that people saw it when they were kids. 

Then I saw the Mandolorian. I first watched it when I was at my brothers house celebrating Christmas, and while food was cooking we just watched the three episodes of it, which were the only ones out at the time. My brother happened to have Disney plus, which my parents did not have. We watched all three back to back, and It was so fucking good. 

Starting with the first episode I was hooked. It follows a Bounty Hunter Mandolorian, a member of a multispecies warrior culture that never remove their helmets in front of anyone. The first 5 or ten minutes shows the nameless main character, we’ll call him Mando, bringing in a bounty target while also killing two men to stop them starting a bar fight. So yeah at first it seems he’s kind of an ass. Then near the end of the episode he…well I won’t spoil it but he’s kind of like Han Solo. He has a heart, it’s not just about the money for him. But he’s not an exact clone of Han solo, which is a rarity for star wars. 

Somehow, the show only gets better as I continue watching this show. There are only eight episodes, and I just finished the fourth one as of this writing, which was the best so far. 

First off, the acting is great. Not only are all performances good, the actor who plays Mando is severely handicapped in that he can’t emote, because he always has a helmet on. Yet, he does a lot with only the tone of his voice and body language, and he in my opinion does a wonderful job. 

The effects, which I thought would be all computer animation, like the main star wars films, are mostly not. And those puppets, costumes, and animatronics? Are amazing. The baby creature puppet is an masterpiece, looking surprisingly life like and emotive. The characters are all interesting and look interesting, and I get the feeling that there are untold back stories and personalities for each of the main ones, and even the minor ones. 

The locations are not just retreads of the main star wars planets! Hell, the first two planets you see are an watery ice world, and a mostly volcanic planet but not in a grand fashion, more of made of mostly molten rock way instead of active volcanoes every where.

 While the writing is good, even great, to me what really stands out in the series is the direction, both in terms of general direction and camera shots. The camera shots are AMAZING. Each director of an episode does an great job, and as I said, it seems to only get better. 

Also the fourth episode did two impossible things, which means we are one third of the way to having breakfast at the Restaurant at the End of the Universe. The fourth episode takes place with Mando trying to lay low from the-

Interruption Pancakes!

 -and are now on what they call ‘a real backwater skeg hole’. While to us having anti-gravity hovercraft, droids, and other sci fi tech would not count as ‘backwater’, it is a planet without any spaceport, heavy industry, or really any cities of any kind. The perfect place to hide, as it were, and to my surprise, it’s not Tattoine, the most heavily trafficked backwater planet ever. 

Anyway, Mando has a short, extremely short, almost but not really romance with a woman who seems to be a leader in a small middle of nowhere krill farm. Normally, short romances not given time to show either characters feeling makes me want to vomit and I almost always quickly forget about them. So what the hell happened here where it actually seemed plausibly. I can’t answer positively, but for me it was because neither were in love, just Feelings, or a crush, as it were. And also, Mando was not in love with the woman, but the way of life. I got the feeling he would’ve liked the quiet life. A 5 minute romance that didn’t make me want to stop watching should not be possible. Yet it did. 

The second impossible thing is the AT-ST. Mostly famously known as Chicken Walkers because they walk like fucking chickens. That alone makes them not scary. Combined with the fact that that teddy bears, Ewoks, took them out in the third main trilogy movie, and they are apparently made out of paper Mache, means they’re a joke. If asked, I would say that they are an unsalvagble vehicle to be used in Star Wars. 

So how the fuck did they make a chicken walker, scary. Because I was on the edge of my seat during the scenes with the AT-ST. They made it sound like a challenge to take down. They made it a -threat-. That should not be possible after George Lucas had them being destroyed by logs and teddy bears. 

The Mandolorian made me realize, I don’t hate star wars. I love it. I just don’t like George Lucas’s version or vision of star wars, and the problem, is that many people who want to create in the world of Star Wars, George Lucas’s vision is the only way to do it. So what you get is mostly just the same stuff you’ve already seen twenty times before. This short sightedness is not limited to star wars, it can be seen in many places. Don’t think of someones vision or verison of something as the be all and end all, even if it is currently the best. Think of it as a starting point, for something even better. 

And the Mandolorian is definitely better. I love it. Now let me tell you why George Lucas sucks and why I hate- 

 "Burn this website to the ground!"

-on second thought I’ll just escape this angry mob now.