Star Wars: A New Hope

Ahh, Star Wars.  Everybody knows and loves this series.

Well, expect me.  Don't get me wrong, I love A New Hope, but The Empire Strikes Back was mediocre, and the Return of the Jedi was kinda bad.  All three are still miles above the pre-trilogy.

Anyway, despite what George Lucas claims, Star Wars was originally a stand alone film, and only after sequels were announced was its name changed to a New Hope, and Lucas started claiming that he had all six scripts in his head since day one.

To make it worse, Lucas has been making small changes to his movies ever since they were released, meaning the original shown in movie theaters is probably worth thousands.

Heh.  Comb the desert.

The version I have is the DVD collection, with the most obvious changes being added CGI effects, all of which are unnecessary and distracting, and in one case even hurts the plot.  For example, during the scene where stormtroopers are combing the sand, he added lizard mounts to the scene, and this doesn't add anything to the scene.  It's distracting the way the lizards walk and no one pays attention to them, and the constant groans they make.

Even worse, after the Greedo scene, Han Solo meet Jabba outside the Millennium Falcon.  But wait, Greedo said that Jabba was done talking with him.  So is Jabba looking for him, as well as sending out bounty hunters.  Oh, and the CGI Jabba looks worse then the animatronic Jabba.

Star Wars is a mix of sci fi and fantasy, and the setting is what I call a junker future, where instead of the normal shiny smooth ships and buildings they're clunky and dirty.  As far as I know, this was the first time a major motion picture featured either of these.

Well, we've spent forever setting this up, onward to the review!

The first piece of business to address is the prologue.  First off, prologues like this are a sign that the person writing, really shouldn't.  There almost always pointless, and, this is a movie.  you know, moving pictures?  All I see are moving words.  Ugh, and the text.  If it goes more then a third up the screen, I can't see it, because of that stupid slant.  Also, why is it in space?  Is there a natural phenom that creates giant words?  What are they called?  Exposition holes?  Oh man, imagine the headlines...  "Today, an Imperial Destroyer was caught in a comma."

Anyway, might as well start on the ship design.  As stated previously, there clunky and industrial, and I love it.  They look great, and it kinda gives the impression that life isn't good this decade.  In terms of special effects, they also look realistic, ironically more realistic then the later CGI effects.

The costumes are pretty bad.  Not as bad as Star Trek, but come on, the stormtroopers look like they were wrapped in plastic.  The sand-people look even worse.  What was Lucas trying to do with them?

Dance Luke.  Dance for Lucas.

Speaking of costumes, let move onto the characters, and dear god are they two dimensional.  Seriously, Luke is kind, friendly, and hates the Empire.  And that's it.  You could call him rash, but it only appears when the plot says so.  Obi Wan doesn't really have a personality.  He's just...wise.  These are two major characters!  Lukes Uncle, who we never learn the name of, has more personality.  He doesn't want Luke to leave, because he cares about Luke, he disapproves of the Jedi, doesn't mind if he breaks the laws if it helps him, and is ruthless in a business setting.


So why hasn't this been pointed out before?  One word: Actors.  Seriously, this is frigging great acting here.  It's so good that it actually fills in the character holes.  For example, when R2D2 says hello to Luke, Luke responds, but it's in a tone of voice that says he's just humoring the droid.  And I don't give Lucas enough credit to write that in there.

Speaking of Luke, why DOES he hate the Empire?  No answers?  Really?  Seriously, The first evil act is them boarding a ship with incredibly sensitive information aboard it.  Then they kill people who have been in contact with the droids who carry it.  Ok, extreme actions, but it's actually reasonable.  I mean, this information could break the Empires back.  And then they...blow up a planet.  What!  Why?  They say it's a demonstration, but, Jesus, it's a space station, THE SIZE OF A MOON.  In fact, I would call it more like a ship, since it can move, and presumably enter hyperspace.  It has an fleet of ships on it, and thousands of turrets on it.  Believe me, you don't need a demonstration.  In the expanded universe, the Empire is responsible for several genocides on non-humans.  But we don't see that in the film.

Lets talk about something else in the star wars uinverse: Slavery.  The droids in Star Wars are obviously sentient.  They can make decisions on there own, R2D2 and C3P0 got out of the ship on their own, and yes, R2D2 did it on orders, but C3P0 did it of his own free will.  So why is it these guys are sold to an owner?  Maybe I'm putting too much thought into this...

The story is...well...it's...I don't have a problem with it.  I mean, it's basicly just some kid joins a terrorist organization and takes down a military citadel, but it's not bad.  Or at least it wouldn't be if the writing wasn't terrible.


In case you can't tell by now, there's alot of plot holes and lack of explanation.  Lucas, I love your ideas, but please.  Stop writing.  Put down the pen.